So much seems to have happened recently that I don't know where to begin! I am sure also that an indepth tale would bore you to tears anyway?!
In short.....................
I am home but still in a lot of pain. There are days that I THINK I am much better but in the "real world" the truth is I am just learning to manage the pain better through an understanding of when and how to take the drugs! I am VERY aware of how little I have really "moved on" when I am even just a few minutes late in the taking of my next dose and suffer agonising pain until they finally take hold again. I find this both upsetting and extremely frustrating.... I am as you know an active person and not very good and the realisation of being "limited"..... I also am in a somewhat difficult position of having an "over caring husband" who sometimes doesn't quite understand that there is little I can do to help STOP the pain OTHER than take the pills. I think he sometimes tries "too hard" and I find that in itself a bit frustrating! Walking around is actually FAR LESS painful that laying up resting too much as I simply can't deal with the pain of pressure..........It sounds a silly thing to say, so I guess thats what he doesn't understand?! I guess in the past I haven't been very good at "resting" so he is trying to protect me but on this occassion I am doing what I need to do to prevent agony not "overdoing" it because I'm the stubborn mule I always have been! That said, I am fully aware that I must take things easy and I am careful not to do too much or go to busy areas where by I may take a knock so dislodging the fracture even further............My last x-ray showed the fracture had moved since the first.
The house is resembling a refuse depot....NOT I hasten to add because the helper is not doing her job properly but because we have a new business venture and its come with outrageous amounts of paper work to absorb as quickly as possible! Graham and I are now the owners of an International IB based PYP school here in Singapore! Last week involved the appointment of a new Principal who we have brought in from Adelaide, Australia having a wealth of knowledge and experience in this field. She has worked in Mongolia and Brunei in previous years on similar projects so hopefully will be the amazing "Captain at the helm"?! I will have a large role within the school, but in a different capacity involving new and existing roles yet to be completely finalised, but on a more "Managerial/liaising" level. The Curriculum etc will be the responsibility of the Principal who is more experienced in the field so ensure the children are educated to the highest possible standard in our "school of excellence"! It is an exciting time involving many changes and its becoming difficult to prioritise priorities!!!!! Rome, however, was NOT built in a day and there is a big vision of both short and long term goals to be achieved so softly, softly..........
For now thats all............
A cup of tea is calling............
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Honey I'm home............!
Well, I have finally been discharged and am soooooooooooooooooo HAPPY to be home you wouldn't believe it! I had a pretty lonely time of it in hospital to be honest! I appreciate it isn't meant to be a "jolly" but none the less I felt somewhat "alone"! Graham did his best to juggle work, kids and home so his visits were "thin on the ground" and aside from a fleeting "hi" from Amy on her way to a "skating social" and a visit from one of her friends, I was alone for the last 4 nights! Well, as alone as you can be when you have lots of faeries to talk to ;-) I was as you can imagine high as a kite most of the time on the vast quantities of morphine etc that I was given to relax all the muscles to encourage the bone to start healing itself with the aid of several other pills and potions. I did use the time to devour several books and watch a load of junk on tv as well as adding some 15,000 words to the childrens book I have been trying to write since my arrival in Asia! I am now confident that there is an end in sight and already have a potential illustrator lined up in preparation for an attempt at publishing it!
I have seen the top spinal specialise who confirmed my fears that this injury is far from over and I am to expect the pain to last for several months with healing possible in 9-12months though complete recovery may not be possible and its likely to be one of those things that continues to nag over the years................HO HUM! Never mind - the improvement I feel so far is something though I am pretty sure thats a result of the drugs as I notice the severe pain return around half hour before the next dose is due! I am grateful to the specialist for having dealt with the "pain management" side of my problem as it was truely unbearable to say the least. I am at present sat on a huge blow up ring but can't say that completely resolves the issue but goes some way towards eleviating the pressure caused by sitting so creating a slightly more comfortable position in which to rest for a while. Standing is still by far the best place to be though isn't conclusive to a "restful day"!!!!
Thank you to all of you who have been so kind to me and shown so much care towards me.
A HUGE thank you to Graham for putting up with such a nuisance of a wife for so long with little in the way of complaint.....I love you!
I have seen the top spinal specialise who confirmed my fears that this injury is far from over and I am to expect the pain to last for several months with healing possible in 9-12months though complete recovery may not be possible and its likely to be one of those things that continues to nag over the years................HO HUM! Never mind - the improvement I feel so far is something though I am pretty sure thats a result of the drugs as I notice the severe pain return around half hour before the next dose is due! I am grateful to the specialist for having dealt with the "pain management" side of my problem as it was truely unbearable to say the least. I am at present sat on a huge blow up ring but can't say that completely resolves the issue but goes some way towards eleviating the pressure caused by sitting so creating a slightly more comfortable position in which to rest for a while. Standing is still by far the best place to be though isn't conclusive to a "restful day"!!!!
Thank you to all of you who have been so kind to me and shown so much care towards me.
A HUGE thank you to Graham for putting up with such a nuisance of a wife for so long with little in the way of complaint.....I love you!
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Hospital
Well, I guess it was inevitable considering the injury but todays appointment with the Specialist has revealed the necessity to hospitilise me. I need proper pain management of opiates and rest to ensure recovery and so here I am jotting a couple of quick lines before I go in.....I am completely fed up.....if the pain is not enough, the fact that I have to leave my darling husband and children alone is.......I have many other problems at home that need dealing with but am not up to them at the moment - very frustrating for me but little I can do. I shall stay here until the children go to bed in an hour then head in so as not to disturb their bedtimes at least for this evening................
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
The fracture............
Well...............the pain appears to have increased over the last few days despite the heavy duty pain killers. I remember telling Graham on either Saturday or Sunday that I could almost feel something move in my back and a strange grating sensation just before the pain intensified. Today I returned to the Specialist who after several x-rays confirmed that in fact the fracture has moved further - hence the pain etc......It seems that pain management is still the only way at the moment though if the fracture finally gets to a 90degree angle manipulation may be required though I'm not sure I fancy the idea as it appears to be done via the rectum! HO HUM! For now then I continue to fly with the faeries with injections daily and now another prescription of oral morphine too......Not sure about that though as it means I can't have a sneaky glass of wine! Now, theres a thought.............if I have more than one sneaky glass of wine, perhaps I won't need the opiates?!?!?! Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm! I smell a plan ;-)
Not sure where that humour just came from as these days I feel like the most miserable person in the universe! Its amazing how much pain can drag you down and even knowing there are so many far worse off than myself, I find it hard to battle on sometimes and revert to the tears instead!
Well, thats all for now..............
Thanks for reading x
Not sure where that humour just came from as these days I feel like the most miserable person in the universe! Its amazing how much pain can drag you down and even knowing there are so many far worse off than myself, I find it hard to battle on sometimes and revert to the tears instead!
Well, thats all for now..............
Thanks for reading x
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
COMMENTS
I know some of you have had trouble posting comments as you don't have an "account" so I have now changed my BLOG settings to enable anyone to post a comment - even if you would like to do so anonomously (I'm feeling a bit lonely just talking to myself!)
Update.........
Well, I guess that in fact there is little to update!?!?! I am still in a substantial amount of pain and am now suffering with side effects from the drugs - nausea in the main...... Muscle spasms??? Seem to be making the pain worse and at night the only way I have been able to sleep is on my left side with pillows propping me up and supporting my spine but now I am unable to do this anymore due to cramping pains through my thigh (I guess due to the compression?) As I can only "perch" on a VERY soft surface whilst leaning forwards, sleeping in a chair is not an option and I am becoming increasingly fatigued from the constant pressure of struggling around in an upright position. The bruises have now started to fade in colour though the same cannot be said for their discomfort. I think I may have to return to the Specialist tomorrow though think all that he can do is up the drugs...........pain management seems to be the only option with this type of injury as its too deepset to fix through surgery. All in all it would seem I have posted yet another of my whining updates..........SORRY and if you got this far without falling asleep - thankyou for reading so patiently! x
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Injections
Finally thanks to the wonders of medical science I am feeling slightly more comfortable and am able to sit and type this (high as a kite on medication however!). Today I actually managed to get out of my bed before the 4pm "injection" appointment at the hospital and by sitting forwards on a cushion softer than marshmallows am able to park myself in the lounge for a few minutes at a time!
The injection is AMAZING though in itself VERY uncomfortable. The needle is longer than I dare describe for fear of frightening my readers as much as it frightens me!!!! The reason being is that to administer the medication, it has to go deep in to the muscle to be effective! I have been having the injections daily at around 4pm so they are effective through the night when I need the relief the most but hadn't given due consideration to how irritated the muscles would become with the constant interference (even though the nurses alternate between left and right side)..............yesterdays injection was shere AGONY! I ended up not sure what was worse - the back or the injection! It was so bad and cramped for so long that in fact I woke this morning (still under the influence of its magical powers) with the opinion that I'd be better trying without it rather than go through the agony again. That was all well and good until that magic began to wear off and the sacral pain returned with a vengence! Suffice to say I was begging for it at the hospital at 4pm again! I spoke to the Specialist and nurses about the previous days discomfort and they were wonderful - it was decided to try my buttock today which was much easier (probably due to my fat depth in that area!?!?!) I was also given some heavy duty pain relief patches and a pretty heavy prescription for the controlled drug, "morphine". I am not sure if I still have a pain...............wouldn't have a clue in fact........................................................too busy flying with the purple, diamond studded faeries who come visiting me! I simply don't understand why noone else can see or hear them?! In fact, I've noticed people giving me strange looks when I mention them. Perhaps they aren't looking hard enough, or are walking around with their eyes shut because I am sure they are here............! On that note.............I'll leave you to see if you too can see them.............
Bye for now! x
The injection is AMAZING though in itself VERY uncomfortable. The needle is longer than I dare describe for fear of frightening my readers as much as it frightens me!!!! The reason being is that to administer the medication, it has to go deep in to the muscle to be effective! I have been having the injections daily at around 4pm so they are effective through the night when I need the relief the most but hadn't given due consideration to how irritated the muscles would become with the constant interference (even though the nurses alternate between left and right side)..............yesterdays injection was shere AGONY! I ended up not sure what was worse - the back or the injection! It was so bad and cramped for so long that in fact I woke this morning (still under the influence of its magical powers) with the opinion that I'd be better trying without it rather than go through the agony again. That was all well and good until that magic began to wear off and the sacral pain returned with a vengence! Suffice to say I was begging for it at the hospital at 4pm again! I spoke to the Specialist and nurses about the previous days discomfort and they were wonderful - it was decided to try my buttock today which was much easier (probably due to my fat depth in that area!?!?!) I was also given some heavy duty pain relief patches and a pretty heavy prescription for the controlled drug, "morphine". I am not sure if I still have a pain...............wouldn't have a clue in fact........................................................too busy flying with the purple, diamond studded faeries who come visiting me! I simply don't understand why noone else can see or hear them?! In fact, I've noticed people giving me strange looks when I mention them. Perhaps they aren't looking hard enough, or are walking around with their eyes shut because I am sure they are here............! On that note.............I'll leave you to see if you too can see them.............
Bye for now! x
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
I can't.....................
I am sooooooooooooo down...............................I KNOW there are so many SO MUCH WORSE OFF than me and that I shouldn't moan BUT....................I AM IN SOOOOOOOOOO MCH PAIN :-(
I can't do ANYTHING..............sit, lay down, go out, sleep, bathe, use the toilet......... the pain is extreme, beyond belief and is wearing me down..............I have now noticed that I myself am sinking in the depression of it which is NOT a good thing. The evenings bring some relief as I have an intermuscular pain relief injection late afternoon, but whilst its amazing, it still doesn't get me through the night and then I am awake crying through the pain at 2-3am even WITH sleeping tablets, Arcoxia and Lexotine to help me further (all they do in fact is give you nausea in to the bargain) The Specialist has said the next step will be as an in patient with Morphine (I can't have that outside as its a controlled drug) but I really don't want to do that.
Sorry to keep complaining, shows what kind of person I am I guess..............................
I can't do ANYTHING..............sit, lay down, go out, sleep, bathe, use the toilet......... the pain is extreme, beyond belief and is wearing me down..............I have now noticed that I myself am sinking in the depression of it which is NOT a good thing. The evenings bring some relief as I have an intermuscular pain relief injection late afternoon, but whilst its amazing, it still doesn't get me through the night and then I am awake crying through the pain at 2-3am even WITH sleeping tablets, Arcoxia and Lexotine to help me further (all they do in fact is give you nausea in to the bargain) The Specialist has said the next step will be as an in patient with Morphine (I can't have that outside as its a controlled drug) but I really don't want to do that.
Sorry to keep complaining, shows what kind of person I am I guess..............................
Saturday, May 10, 2008
The accident.......................
Well, those who know me will also know I do little at half measure so I am sure this post won't come as surprise to you!
I returned to Singapore Friday afternoon after a lovely stay with my parents. Fortunately the luxury of a Business Class seat enabled me to get plenty of sleep and so prevent too much in the way of the dreaded "jet lag"! As such, Graham and I went for a lovely curry followed by the wonderful company of Abbe, Mick and Christopher Keaney. Christopher is SUCH a honey and I think the FIRST baby to trigger any form of hormonal pangs for another baby since the decision to call Heather our "last"! Don't panic Graham - that decision still stands but it was nice to feel that "gooey" sort of "warm, fuzzy" feeling us women get! Thank you to Abbe for letting me have such lovely cuddles and thank you Christopher for being yummy and not screaming your head off when I did my best "Auntie" impression!
Anyway.........................................
Saturday came and so did the opportunity for a lovely Singaporian coffee followed my a mushroom soup YUM YUM! I purchased a gorgeous skirt and a pair of strappy sandals to help me "look the part" when I return to work tomorrow (or at least that was the plan....)
Now comes the clanger..................
We headed to Lagunita for the afternoon, the plan was for the kids to swim, Graham to catch up on some emails and I would go for a run (haven't done any whilst in the Uk as it was too cold). I was running well until I realised a numbness creeping through my left leg - sometimes the run up to an MS attack......then my bowel decided to go into over drive (another problem with MS) and I realised I MUST stop running. I stopped the machine immediately but with my brain upside down and round the wrong way and the dreaded fear I could "mess myself" in front of the entire gym of attempted to get off before the belt had completely stopped moving..........I was literally "flung" off and landed hard on my bottom and elbow.............Of couse I did all the sheepish "yes, I'm fine" things you do before you scuttle off.........My bowel fortunately held out until I got to the ladies BUT my back and elbow were somewhat painful.....I had previously booked a pedicure but could barely sit for it and had to phone Graham to get him to get me out of the seat........the pain got worse and worse until finally he demanded I see a Dr. On our way we bumped in to Shin and her family.....she said "welome back" to me and I responded with "WELCOME BACK" to her - I was elated to see such a difference in her.....I hope a miracle has been performed - it certainly appeared that way....................
An X-ray at East Shore showed I have a bad fracture to the Sabum (???haven't a clue how you spell that???!!! Its the bone above your coccyx anyway. Not a lot you can do about it though other than rest, take painkillers and wait......The pain over night was so severe I returned to the hospital again this morning. The Dr gave me a shot of pethadine and offered to admit me - I declined feeling there is little they can do that I can't do at home? The pethadine has worked miracles so far however........................I've got an MC so obviously can't start my new job tomorrow :-( Not sure how that will leave me with the new company............. :-(
Guess it could mean I have start looking again when I get myself right. Not sure they will be amused with me thowing a sicky before I even start!?!
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh further update - Grahams just spoken to them - they've said not to even think about work and Graham said he'll update them as to my progress later in the week - I'm hoping that means they will let me start a bit later??? I hope so.....................
I returned to Singapore Friday afternoon after a lovely stay with my parents. Fortunately the luxury of a Business Class seat enabled me to get plenty of sleep and so prevent too much in the way of the dreaded "jet lag"! As such, Graham and I went for a lovely curry followed by the wonderful company of Abbe, Mick and Christopher Keaney. Christopher is SUCH a honey and I think the FIRST baby to trigger any form of hormonal pangs for another baby since the decision to call Heather our "last"! Don't panic Graham - that decision still stands but it was nice to feel that "gooey" sort of "warm, fuzzy" feeling us women get! Thank you to Abbe for letting me have such lovely cuddles and thank you Christopher for being yummy and not screaming your head off when I did my best "Auntie" impression!
Anyway.........................................
Saturday came and so did the opportunity for a lovely Singaporian coffee followed my a mushroom soup YUM YUM! I purchased a gorgeous skirt and a pair of strappy sandals to help me "look the part" when I return to work tomorrow (or at least that was the plan....)
Now comes the clanger..................
We headed to Lagunita for the afternoon, the plan was for the kids to swim, Graham to catch up on some emails and I would go for a run (haven't done any whilst in the Uk as it was too cold). I was running well until I realised a numbness creeping through my left leg - sometimes the run up to an MS attack......then my bowel decided to go into over drive (another problem with MS) and I realised I MUST stop running. I stopped the machine immediately but with my brain upside down and round the wrong way and the dreaded fear I could "mess myself" in front of the entire gym of attempted to get off before the belt had completely stopped moving..........I was literally "flung" off and landed hard on my bottom and elbow.............Of couse I did all the sheepish "yes, I'm fine" things you do before you scuttle off.........My bowel fortunately held out until I got to the ladies BUT my back and elbow were somewhat painful.....I had previously booked a pedicure but could barely sit for it and had to phone Graham to get him to get me out of the seat........the pain got worse and worse until finally he demanded I see a Dr. On our way we bumped in to Shin and her family.....she said "welome back" to me and I responded with "WELCOME BACK" to her - I was elated to see such a difference in her.....I hope a miracle has been performed - it certainly appeared that way....................
An X-ray at East Shore showed I have a bad fracture to the Sabum (???haven't a clue how you spell that???!!! Its the bone above your coccyx anyway. Not a lot you can do about it though other than rest, take painkillers and wait......The pain over night was so severe I returned to the hospital again this morning. The Dr gave me a shot of pethadine and offered to admit me - I declined feeling there is little they can do that I can't do at home? The pethadine has worked miracles so far however........................I've got an MC so obviously can't start my new job tomorrow :-( Not sure how that will leave me with the new company............. :-(
Guess it could mean I have start looking again when I get myself right. Not sure they will be amused with me thowing a sicky before I even start!?!
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh further update - Grahams just spoken to them - they've said not to even think about work and Graham said he'll update them as to my progress later in the week - I'm hoping that means they will let me start a bit later??? I hope so.....................
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Woking
What a busy day........today I was woken to the sound of smashing bottles!!! No.........NOT the result of last nights drunks antics but the recycling cart tipping the streets recycling boxes! Fantastic that this is being done of course but I feel 6-30am is somewhat early?!?!?! I laid a while desperately searching the inside of my head for confirmation that my migraine was finally lifting.............sadly it was not. (Though now I am taking "Migralieve" I think there is some improvement at last?) A quick banana followed my "shower" before Mum and I headed to the station to catch a train to Woking.
I love Woking! I always have, always will...............so many memories............many painful...........many happy..............The shoppings good too!!!!!! Spent far more than I should have on "work clothes" so I can look "the part" when I return to Singapore and my new job on Monday. I was amazed at the choices to be had here......so many items in so many colours, shades, sizes, designs, cuts. lengths etc etc! I was also amazed at the prices! SO EXPENSIVE! I am relying on the fact that you "get what you pay for" and that I shall be wearing these "good quality" items well in to the future?! Shoes were a problem - far too high for this old lady!!!!
Have had problems getting much for the children (no, not because I have spent all my money on ME!!!) There isn't really that much worth getting for them. Did however buy Heather the most beautiful dress covered in delicate little lemon roses.....I can't wait to see her wearing it. I got a couple of tiny things for Amy too but I am not giving the game away as far as thats concerned as she'll read this blog ;-) Frazer however has been difficult to buy for so I amy have to take him for a shopping trip when I get "back home". Cousin Norman was met at 2-30pm and spent the next 3+ hours retracing just about everything he has ever learned/experienced over his 79 years of life....................all very interesting as I am sure you will understand but not so healthy for migraines ;-)
Back now in Haslemere the man two houses up is burning rubbish again - has been every night since I've been here.............the smoke is vile................The gammons is the oven and Dads just picked a sprig of mint from the garden to go in the new potatoes (I do hope the dog hasn't "watered" the plant".
Got to work out what I can leave in the UK and what I can pack tomorrow - was over my allowance on the way here so heavens help me on the return leg!
Miss my family and friends so much...............
Love you all
x
I love Woking! I always have, always will...............so many memories............many painful...........many happy..............The shoppings good too!!!!!! Spent far more than I should have on "work clothes" so I can look "the part" when I return to Singapore and my new job on Monday. I was amazed at the choices to be had here......so many items in so many colours, shades, sizes, designs, cuts. lengths etc etc! I was also amazed at the prices! SO EXPENSIVE! I am relying on the fact that you "get what you pay for" and that I shall be wearing these "good quality" items well in to the future?! Shoes were a problem - far too high for this old lady!!!!
Have had problems getting much for the children (no, not because I have spent all my money on ME!!!) There isn't really that much worth getting for them. Did however buy Heather the most beautiful dress covered in delicate little lemon roses.....I can't wait to see her wearing it. I got a couple of tiny things for Amy too but I am not giving the game away as far as thats concerned as she'll read this blog ;-) Frazer however has been difficult to buy for so I amy have to take him for a shopping trip when I get "back home". Cousin Norman was met at 2-30pm and spent the next 3+ hours retracing just about everything he has ever learned/experienced over his 79 years of life....................all very interesting as I am sure you will understand but not so healthy for migraines ;-)
Back now in Haslemere the man two houses up is burning rubbish again - has been every night since I've been here.............the smoke is vile................The gammons is the oven and Dads just picked a sprig of mint from the garden to go in the new potatoes (I do hope the dog hasn't "watered" the plant".
Got to work out what I can leave in the UK and what I can pack tomorrow - was over my allowance on the way here so heavens help me on the return leg!
Miss my family and friends so much...............
Love you all
x
Monday, May 5, 2008
England May 2008
What a DISGRACE this country has become, even since my time in Singapore.........a dirty place full of rude, arrogant and unfriendly people who have absolute disregard for everthing and everyone. I am embarassed to even consider myself having been "one of them" and hope the I did not (and do not) behave in such a dreadful manner.
Yesterday I visited my darling daughter Harriets final resting place. I always thought that Sunvale Cemetery was a beautiful place worthy of her everylasting "bed". Harriets grave for those who don't know, is situated at the top corner with nothing but woodland behind her. Many time have I sat with her to be joined by a deer or two and the sunlight shining through the leafy canopy gave her mottled shade on even the hottest of days. Her "neighbour" was sadly soon to be another baby. also having been lost to SIDS and the later that same babies brother lost to a tragic car accident. Graham and I have purchased the plot "next door" and my parents the plot below that so one day we will rest eternally together...... Anyway, yesterday.................armed with a pot of the most delicate narcisuss daffodils I eagerly headed towards her grave (visiting her is one of the main things I miss from the UK and in some ways I often feel I have let her down by moving so far away though I am grateful to all those of you who do go to her and check shes safe when you have a spare moment. THANK YOU). I was stopped in my tracks with a heart beating so hard I am sure it could be heard in Singapore............the lowest of the low had occured..................my NIGHTMARE...............the grave has been VANDALISED. Her beautiful blue granite vase appears to have been used for AIR GUN practice with "bullet/shot" holes peppering it. The beautiful set of three white porceline bunnies Mum and Dad had taken for Easter and the selection of porceline woodland animals that I had sent to her from Singapore had ALL been stollen. Branches, broken pots and vases littered all around and I felt myself sinking in the depression of it all. The two neighbouring graves of Harriets "friends" have always been kept so beautifully but now I found them too in a disgusting condition, having not been cared for in months (the parents find visiting too painful) and (I guess) teenage friends of the deceased appearing to have held "parties" for him in his memory? Bottles of Vodka, Sambuka etc littered the grave alone with smashed mugs and chocolate bars. I guess that these parties have contributed to the damage incurred on Harriets grave but without proof what can I do............? A natural occurance has also happened...................due to the cemetery being quite "boggy" and Harriet being buried at the top of a hill, I noticed the grave has slipped slightly to the right and as such the cormers of the kerb stones cement has come away. In itself this I guess isn't a major issue but with time the stone will fall away and then smash so will need to be sorted now to prevent what could become a nightmare to deal with from "the other side of the world"...............all in all a miserable day...............My husband will no doubt be smiling at the fact I am MOANING again despite my earlier statement that I was going to try not to!
SORRY.....Love you Graham! x
Yesterday I visited my darling daughter Harriets final resting place. I always thought that Sunvale Cemetery was a beautiful place worthy of her everylasting "bed". Harriets grave for those who don't know, is situated at the top corner with nothing but woodland behind her. Many time have I sat with her to be joined by a deer or two and the sunlight shining through the leafy canopy gave her mottled shade on even the hottest of days. Her "neighbour" was sadly soon to be another baby. also having been lost to SIDS and the later that same babies brother lost to a tragic car accident. Graham and I have purchased the plot "next door" and my parents the plot below that so one day we will rest eternally together...... Anyway, yesterday.................armed with a pot of the most delicate narcisuss daffodils I eagerly headed towards her grave (visiting her is one of the main things I miss from the UK and in some ways I often feel I have let her down by moving so far away though I am grateful to all those of you who do go to her and check shes safe when you have a spare moment. THANK YOU). I was stopped in my tracks with a heart beating so hard I am sure it could be heard in Singapore............the lowest of the low had occured..................my NIGHTMARE...............the grave has been VANDALISED. Her beautiful blue granite vase appears to have been used for AIR GUN practice with "bullet/shot" holes peppering it. The beautiful set of three white porceline bunnies Mum and Dad had taken for Easter and the selection of porceline woodland animals that I had sent to her from Singapore had ALL been stollen. Branches, broken pots and vases littered all around and I felt myself sinking in the depression of it all. The two neighbouring graves of Harriets "friends" have always been kept so beautifully but now I found them too in a disgusting condition, having not been cared for in months (the parents find visiting too painful) and (I guess) teenage friends of the deceased appearing to have held "parties" for him in his memory? Bottles of Vodka, Sambuka etc littered the grave alone with smashed mugs and chocolate bars. I guess that these parties have contributed to the damage incurred on Harriets grave but without proof what can I do............? A natural occurance has also happened...................due to the cemetery being quite "boggy" and Harriet being buried at the top of a hill, I noticed the grave has slipped slightly to the right and as such the cormers of the kerb stones cement has come away. In itself this I guess isn't a major issue but with time the stone will fall away and then smash so will need to be sorted now to prevent what could become a nightmare to deal with from "the other side of the world"...............all in all a miserable day...............My husband will no doubt be smiling at the fact I am MOANING again despite my earlier statement that I was going to try not to!
SORRY.....Love you Graham! x
Saturday, May 3, 2008
England.............
Well......I'm here!
Just a few days before I head home to my lovely husband and children who I miss like you wouldn't believe......
The trip is a whirlwind.......Mum bless her is trying to fit "everything" in to a VERY short time! Its now 7pm and I am ABSOLUTELY exhausted due to both jet lag AND a hugely busy day of Garden Centres and Guildford Hight Street! I think my cousin Brenda is visiting this evening..........IF I can keep my eyes open long enough that is?!
Its SO cold here! Today I attempted a run...............only got about half a km before I had to turn back! I couldn't breath using my nose as it was starting to run faster than I was, to breathe through my mouth caused pain in my throat and chest and my hands were BLUE from the sheer wind chill factor! Not pleasant at all ..................... I shall have to work super hard next week to get my fitness back up as there is NO way I can keep it up here without getting frost bite or worse!
Mums just sorting her and Dads dinner out before I cook myself some noodles............just discovered she doesn't have any CHOP STICKS! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! How can you eat Chinese food with a knife and fork?!!!!
Ho hum!
If anyone sees my husband or children before I get home to tell them myself.............PLEASE convey my love for them all............I am SO lucky..........I hope whoever is reading this BLOG experiences even half the love I feel for them for that alone would make them EXTREMELY lucky people.............I on the other hand am EXCEPTIONALLY LUCKY....
I LOVE YOU PARKER PEOPLE!
Just a few days before I head home to my lovely husband and children who I miss like you wouldn't believe......
The trip is a whirlwind.......Mum bless her is trying to fit "everything" in to a VERY short time! Its now 7pm and I am ABSOLUTELY exhausted due to both jet lag AND a hugely busy day of Garden Centres and Guildford Hight Street! I think my cousin Brenda is visiting this evening..........IF I can keep my eyes open long enough that is?!
Its SO cold here! Today I attempted a run...............only got about half a km before I had to turn back! I couldn't breath using my nose as it was starting to run faster than I was, to breathe through my mouth caused pain in my throat and chest and my hands were BLUE from the sheer wind chill factor! Not pleasant at all ..................... I shall have to work super hard next week to get my fitness back up as there is NO way I can keep it up here without getting frost bite or worse!
Mums just sorting her and Dads dinner out before I cook myself some noodles............just discovered she doesn't have any CHOP STICKS! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! How can you eat Chinese food with a knife and fork?!!!!
Ho hum!
If anyone sees my husband or children before I get home to tell them myself.............PLEASE convey my love for them all............I am SO lucky..........I hope whoever is reading this BLOG experiences even half the love I feel for them for that alone would make them EXTREMELY lucky people.............I on the other hand am EXCEPTIONALLY LUCKY....
I LOVE YOU PARKER PEOPLE!
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